Friday, October 29, 2010

the echo and eclipse

I don't believe in falling in love.
Some years ago there was a movie called 'Music from Another Room'. One character described love 

You know how when you're listening to music playing from another room? And you're singing along because it's a tune that you really love? When a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but you sing along anyway... then, no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again you're still in exact same time with it. That's what it's like. 

Too long ago I was pottering about in a share house and heard the soundtrack to 'Against the Wind'. I froze and for a time was lost in another soul space. I knew someone who lived in those notes, but I had never met him, and at the time he was on the other side of the world.
I learnt to play 'Six Ribbons' on the piano...I can't play anything else, but that song mattered.
When I did meet him, I didn't notice what his hair was like, his clothes or anything changeable. I could hear the music, sense the celtic pulse and raw spirit.
I still don't believe in falling in love, but I know I have.       

a few words from my dog, Dougal.

1. Never accept rejection.
No matter how much someone may scream and flap, that lap is yours.

2. Stoical is not a word, neither is stoic a stable adjective.
The hidden angora blanket is yours.

3. Cleaning will not make you a spiritual person, dreaming will.

Overemphasis on spots and smells defines you as a cat.

4. Smile when it's not natural.

If you think this is difficult as a humanoid, it's moreso as a kelpie/corgie.

5 Explore the assumptions of royal duties.

If you are a 2 legged being, you will probably have little royal value. Corgies, on the other hand, should hold their head high.

6. Never underestimate the beauty of a lost sock.

7. Life without sole is boring.

Gather shoes on your bed, regardless of their original owner's screams and possessive carry on.

8. If you appear to be the same height standing and resting, rest more. But nurture the self worth of a big dog.

9. Choose to hear 'Dougal what are you doing NOW!' as an exclamation of wonder, not a question.

10. That's not a bone, this is a bone!

Negotiating a 3 metre bone and a 1 metre dog flap is only a matter of time and courage. Good bones taste better indoors.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

writing in November

I am deliriously excited about writing next month. Some people go shopping, play in the garden, or sing but I love to raise a character, make them brilliant and loved and then hurt them hard.
The most huggable part of the story usually comes from a world view, a place where everybody has known that pain and may or may not recover.
So, at the moment I am packing for the journey; yoga suits, a new teapot, lovable coffee, plenty of sleep, details and moments and visits to my pear tree. That reminds me that bundles of sticks do break forth into beautiful leaves, blossom and fruit when there was no obvious evidence.
I don't have a muse, I think my busy daydreaming noggin is enough fuel for the distance. I do have happy dances stored up in the arena of my grey zones. I do have background music sorted; my family...drums, banjo, guitar, singing.     

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Monday, October 11, 2010

Life before the dawn

Last night I slept all night, naturally.
 It doesn't sound that exciting until you miss several nights without even a nap. Then you start to wonder and of course start to Google; how long can you go without sleep....before you die *nine days*. It seems like forever and the loneliest path. Reflexes and recall are fragile, resources are few. People who went for records in staying awake usually chose to stay awake, to find that the body fatigued earlier than the will. But after nine days,
Different things start to matter, and like a trapeze artist reaching for hoops and hands, trust is invaluable.
This morning I heard that today's Aussie mum will prefer surgical over natural childbirth as more dignified.
My daughter and I had a conversation days ago over why we endure pain during birth. The outcome is beautiful, I told her. You can't gather the strength for that day until you are there. The memory of pain and tiredness passes quickly.
We had photos of me being brave; holding an eagle.
How to relax; pictures of our cat asleep.
No pictures of the child we couldn't see, but trust because of the weight I had carried, the movement I had felt.
Knowledge; because of the women who had been there.
Confidence in the person I had been, in trials before.
And each child is worth so much more than the problem of pain.
So why do you face a night of sleeplessness,
because somewhere I knew that person was still within me.
She could still make distances.
 Something would break the cycle of fear and worry.
I haven't lasted eight days, so I could try at three or five. I could forgive naps.
It's not something I would try because I could boast a record, but I know I survived it.